Position: Professional Despot
- Status: Open.
- Location: Flexible.
- Reports To: Gwynn Flimsy — Director of Transport Strategy and Toxic Positivity.
- Salary: Paid incentive based on the successful elimination of “Energy Vampires.”
About the Role
We are seeking someone with a fragile ego and a temperament both vicious and positive.
Key Responsibilities
- Fleet Appropriation: Throwing low-morale passengers from the bus.
- Infallibility: Your wrong is our right.
- Initiative: Preferred, not required.
Required Qualifications
- TBD.
What We Offer
- Wellbeing
- Learning
- Purpose
- Autonomy
- Biometric Monitoring
- Inclusivity
- Exclusivity
How to Apply
Please submit your résumé along with a 500-word essay on “buses, vampires, and infallibility.”